Four Word Story

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society and the amateur

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gymnastics and paper folding

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class of '94. In

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the bleak mid winter,

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Frosty (the Snowman) lapsed

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into a drunken stupour

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following consumption of a

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chocolate liqueur and a

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strange Advocat Snowball mixed

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using real yellow snow

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with ostrich egg and

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a light dusting of

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sun dried and powdered

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droppings from the rare

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Oozlum bird which was

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known for it's love

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of anything small and

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purple, encrusted with mouldy

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souvenirs of the last

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bacon sandwich eaten during

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the previous twenty two

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hourly snacks washed down

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with a generous helping

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of the juice of

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unripened and freshly squeezed

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mango diluted with pints

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of sparkling mineral water.

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During his time incarcerated

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in the bus shelter

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Archduke Wilberforce and his

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old, yet still sprightly

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pair of green Amazon

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supplied leprechauns. Below his

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fiery red beard could

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be seen a multitude

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of frantically dancing Chinese

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manufactured, battery powered robot

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controlled, tiny replicas of

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somewhat fondly remembered childhood

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parental pre-teen birthday gifts

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from an age before

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the invention of those

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incredibly tacky but popular

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attempt at copying the

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immensely successful previous decades

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ago version of mechanical

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mastery producing the new

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technologically sound breakthrough circumventing

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the laws governing all

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existing fundamental concepts of

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the motion of charged

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particles when excited by

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scantily dressed carnival dancers

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cavorting around on gigantic

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brightly coloured, inflatable plastic

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raincoats spread across large

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muddy puddles to prevent

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an entirely unexpected crowd

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of boisterous and unwelcome

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concert pianists from playing

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a marathon stint of

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publicly acclaimed but eventually

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dismissed by the so-called

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Grand Mufti of East

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Cheam following proclamations by

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the world renowned professor

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Schlostenburger, who himself had

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been misquoted when he

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was reported to have

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commented on the musings

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of his great rival

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and close, personal friend

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, the equally renowned official

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information distributor from West

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Cheam, who had a

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reputation for speaking utter

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rubbish whilst juggling with

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an assortment of antique

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ship building tools and

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rusty nails with no

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real idea of how

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the theory of quantum

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bacon butties came about.

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In spring the first

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past the post voting

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for a new  Eurovision

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Mascot was finding many

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entrants from the unusual

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through to the utterly

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surprising inhabitants of a

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far away land famous

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for it's notable lack

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of distinguishing natural features.

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An adventurous expedition of

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short sighted but willing

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multi-national entrepreneurs with understated

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good humour rather underestimated

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the consequences of trying

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to domesticate honey badgers

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by initially making tempting